Our Fate turns to colder days, the mind's eye looks for warming rays...
Well. It's December already. October didn't go off as planned at all. Halloween was horrible this year. And November? Don't get me started on November. Worst month. Seriously. I don't know how I survived without killing anyone. Oh yeah, that's right, I didn't. I killed myself, in some way. *sigh* How awful. Hmmm... I don't even know where to start with this post. My house is being decorated for Christmas. Looks very nice. Still, I'm not really in the Christmas mood very much. Tomorrow is the second Sunday of Advent. Not that I care, but it's a nice way to keep track of the date. I haven't bought my Christmas presents for anyone. Boo that. I don't even know what I'm getting Alex...
Yes, Alex and I are still together, despite having faced perhaps our most ultimate challenge, even more difficult than getting together was. But we are still together. Mainly because, despite all we've been through in the past month or so, we still make each other happy when we see each other. And are still rediculously attached. I'm not going to lie to you -- we almost broke up. This was why Halloween was so awful for me. I'm not going to lie, but I'm also not gonna tell the truth; I can't say why we almost broke up, but let me tell you, it was an awful experience. I wouldn't say I'm completely happy. I've never been completely happy, but still, I'm not very happy at all. *sigh* And it's really difficult.
I'm finally getting all my applications out this weekend. It's a big thing for me -- mailing off everything that's hard-copied, submitting all my online apps, etc. And, omg, let me tell you about my writing portfolio. First of all, I wasn't concerned with doing a writing portfolio. I'm applying for biology and marine science stuff in school, despite the fact that I love writing. So my portfolio wasn't really a big concern -- I just printed out 9 of my hundreds of poems and handed them to Ms. Hoyt. She loved them. Like seriously, and then after I got them back, she pointed out all this symbolism and literally uses and stuff. Jeez. And she's like "time to consider scholarships and publication". Christ, I blanched. But still, it's something that makes me feel wicked good, after all, I've never let an adult read any of the personal stuff I write. So anyway, I've got another meeting with her next week to discuss that... I'm thinking I'll bring in a few more poems for her to read. *grins* It makes me wanna quit school entirely and just write forever. Such a temptation right now. Grrr, if only I could. Oh well, I'll just keep slaving for another few months... *grumbles*
I've got my interview for Tufts next week. Mixed feelings, really. I would like to go there, although I'm pretty certain I won't get in. Although, I do know the interviewer. He's my neighbor and a friend of my Dad's, so maybe I will get in. Alyssa said yesterday, "oh now you're in for SURE!" Still, URI has been looking nicer and nicer, considering Dr. Ballard works there and Alex goes there, it's right near the water, etc. Parents don't want me going there, go figure. *so confusing* And the IB work just keeps piling on. Blargh.
Friends are friends. No more CJ and Lexy. Nor more Meg and Sean, now it's Meg and little Joshie. Sarah and Jack still trying, Pat and no one, Will and not-really-anyone-as-usual-except-Ashley's-little-sister-Sam's-friend-Megan as well as Mark and another one of those girls Amanda, Steve and Jess still, Dylan and Kayla still, dunno who Daine likes, Sean and Charlotte stilll somehow, Barry and this "Perry" girl, etc, etc. Same old relationship problems we've always had. Same old friendship problems we've always had. I've grown to seriously HATE Prout lately, especially our loverly VicePrinciple after last week. Grrr... and food prices are up high, unfortunately. Boo. School sucks lately. Become a big SlikWilly fan of late. And Spencer's band is playing its first real gig, at the Livingroom, in a few weeks. Exciting. So senior year drags on, madly different then Junior year, mainly because Alex is not being a playa and is out of the school, and Ben's gone, etc. I do miss some of the graduates, though. *sigh*
I absolutely HATE drugs and alcohol lately. It's getting on my nerves, pissing me the FUCK off, and taking people away from me. I can't STAND any and all of it. Seriously. If you do it, may it be far from my sight and never reach my ears and may Heaven help you if I ever do find out. *ahem* It's going to seriously break me one of these days. And I'm not joking. Gives me the worst nightmares. Something is going to happen soon, and it's not gonna be pretty. But I shall resist saying "I toldja so," for your sakes. Anyway...
And so continues December. 7 months in a relationship makes my head spin. Good luck, may the Fates have mercy on your souls.
Yes, Alex and I are still together, despite having faced perhaps our most ultimate challenge, even more difficult than getting together was. But we are still together. Mainly because, despite all we've been through in the past month or so, we still make each other happy when we see each other. And are still rediculously attached. I'm not going to lie to you -- we almost broke up. This was why Halloween was so awful for me. I'm not going to lie, but I'm also not gonna tell the truth; I can't say why we almost broke up, but let me tell you, it was an awful experience. I wouldn't say I'm completely happy. I've never been completely happy, but still, I'm not very happy at all. *sigh* And it's really difficult.
I'm finally getting all my applications out this weekend. It's a big thing for me -- mailing off everything that's hard-copied, submitting all my online apps, etc. And, omg, let me tell you about my writing portfolio. First of all, I wasn't concerned with doing a writing portfolio. I'm applying for biology and marine science stuff in school, despite the fact that I love writing. So my portfolio wasn't really a big concern -- I just printed out 9 of my hundreds of poems and handed them to Ms. Hoyt. She loved them. Like seriously, and then after I got them back, she pointed out all this symbolism and literally uses and stuff. Jeez. And she's like "time to consider scholarships and publication". Christ, I blanched. But still, it's something that makes me feel wicked good, after all, I've never let an adult read any of the personal stuff I write. So anyway, I've got another meeting with her next week to discuss that... I'm thinking I'll bring in a few more poems for her to read. *grins* It makes me wanna quit school entirely and just write forever. Such a temptation right now. Grrr, if only I could. Oh well, I'll just keep slaving for another few months... *grumbles*
I've got my interview for Tufts next week. Mixed feelings, really. I would like to go there, although I'm pretty certain I won't get in. Although, I do know the interviewer. He's my neighbor and a friend of my Dad's, so maybe I will get in. Alyssa said yesterday, "oh now you're in for SURE!" Still, URI has been looking nicer and nicer, considering Dr. Ballard works there and Alex goes there, it's right near the water, etc. Parents don't want me going there, go figure. *so confusing* And the IB work just keeps piling on. Blargh.
Friends are friends. No more CJ and Lexy. Nor more Meg and Sean, now it's Meg and little Joshie. Sarah and Jack still trying, Pat and no one, Will and not-really-anyone-as-usual-except-Ashley's-little-sister-Sam's-friend-Megan as well as Mark and another one of those girls Amanda, Steve and Jess still, Dylan and Kayla still, dunno who Daine likes, Sean and Charlotte stilll somehow, Barry and this "Perry" girl, etc, etc. Same old relationship problems we've always had. Same old friendship problems we've always had. I've grown to seriously HATE Prout lately, especially our loverly VicePrinciple after last week. Grrr... and food prices are up high, unfortunately. Boo. School sucks lately. Become a big SlikWilly fan of late. And Spencer's band is playing its first real gig, at the Livingroom, in a few weeks. Exciting. So senior year drags on, madly different then Junior year, mainly because Alex is not being a playa and is out of the school, and Ben's gone, etc. I do miss some of the graduates, though. *sigh*
I absolutely HATE drugs and alcohol lately. It's getting on my nerves, pissing me the FUCK off, and taking people away from me. I can't STAND any and all of it. Seriously. If you do it, may it be far from my sight and never reach my ears and may Heaven help you if I ever do find out. *ahem* It's going to seriously break me one of these days. And I'm not joking. Gives me the worst nightmares. Something is going to happen soon, and it's not gonna be pretty. But I shall resist saying "I toldja so," for your sakes. Anyway...
And so continues December. 7 months in a relationship makes my head spin. Good luck, may the Fates have mercy on your souls.
