Well, this is the last entry for a while; for about a month. I'm leaving tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, I'm not even packed yet and I'm missing a lot of vital things I need for my trip. Apparently no one around here cares, though because they're still not home even though I called them. I'm speaking of my mother, of course, who sounded barely concerned on the phone a few minutes ago. *grumble* No one here is understanding this... I'm freaking out because I need everything set before I can get to sleep tonight. Well, here I may as well say my good-byes, because even if you people don't talk to me before I leave you can at least read this and know that I'm thinking of you... People I say goodbye to are:

Erik
Steve
Kayla
Daine
Xandra
Sarah
Meghan
Dylan
Sean
Dan
Matt
Andrea
Ali
Colleen
Vijay
William
Eric
Patrick
Jackie
Kelton
Mitzi
Graham
Scoot (Yeah, you have friends!)
Emily
Vanessa (thanks for remembering my b-day)
Jack
Maggie (cause I love you!)
Bryan (cause you'd kill me otherwise)
Chris (cause you'd want to be mentioned)
Johanna (I'll try to write!)
And anyone else who I forgot to mention...

So.... I LOVE YOU ALL VERY VERY MUCH! And I hope to whatever god there is that you're all safe while I'm away. I swear I won't stop thinking about you the whole time I'm there, but I'll be back before you know it, and the the partying can begin again!! Don't do anything too special without me. Ok, just kidding, but if you do something special I expect not to hear about it too much when I get back, alright? Mmmm... so... I'll be going soon!! Salut!! Good-bye, good-night, later, love y'all, that sort of thing. Hehehe, don't cry!!

And with the flip of a switch
The world fades away from me
The room once illuminated by your light
Is learning how to see...

BYE!

Dark and deep...
Fast asleep...

That's the exact opposite of lately, cause everyone's up so late do to the fact that it's summer! I stayed up till about 3 last night finishing Ender's Shadow and listening to AFI. I got Sing the Sorrow from Dylan! Thanks Dylan! ^_^ It's a great CD; you must listen and praise AFI. Yesterday was very, very relaxing. I went over Steve's, as did Dylan, Daine, and Kayla. We all went tubing on the long route of the river. It was so great. Just sitting out on an inflatable tube in the sun lazily floating along... Most exciting, I got a watch tan. That's my clue that we're well into summer... and it's only June! After tubing, Daine left, and then the four of us left ate, played a little Risk, watched Hellsing and some Invader Zim. Hellsing is now one of my favorite anime shows ever. If you want to get something for my birthday talk to Steve, cause he wants people to help him buy it for me! ^_^ Ooh, and I would have won Risk if Steve and Kayla had not quit mid-game. The truth was, Dylan and I were kicking their butts, just like we did in DOA3, and they couldn't take the heat. When I got home, I was able to talk to Sarah, thank god, and we think we worked something out. I apologized about 12 times. Oy, talk about confusion! I thought summer vacation was supposed to be RELAXING!

Well, today I'm going to Graham's party!! This should be fun! It's great that I can actually go to the darn thing because I really didn't have a ride until last night when my father decided to take today off from work. Yay! The party should be good, although Graham's friends from SK have been known to be very hyper, I think I should be fine. Daine and Dylan are going, so that's happy. Maybe Jack will come? Who knows... and, although I'm hoping not cause it would probably be draining, Patrick might go. But, it would be good to see him before I leave for camp! For those of you who don't know, I'm leaving Saturday. I'm getting all excited, I really am! It's gonna be great and, supposedly, my friend Sonja from CAA 2001 is going to the same site. I downloaded 12 new songs last night, making my playlist break 600 songs! Heh, finally... It was at 589 for the longest time because nothing good enough to download has come out recently. Among the new additions were 4 Hellsing songs and some good stuff by the Goo Goo Dolls, who now may be getting into my top bands list. Always good to discover something new! I really need to download some of Jewel's new stuff. I like her old stuff better, but she is one of my favorite singers...

Now I'm listening to Alucard's Theme from Hellsing. Damn good show... it's like Trigun meets Blue Seed, only with vampires in stead of Aragami. Now, I'm going to go read Shadow of the Hegemon and wrap Graham's present. Love you all, and you KNOW I mean it! ^_^

Poem time? Alright... but "please accept my Baptism".

Red Rose Vertigo (the words "Red Rose Vertigo" curtesy of Hellsing; it's not my work!)

Slept last night, dreaming all the while
Dreaming of that place I know so well
Where I go when I close my eyes
Where I go when I close my mind
I woke up in that lovely, secret garden
Veil of vines, revealing hidden beauty

Peaceful walk through fragrant flowers...
Where I chose to spend my hours...
Where did all my time go?
I feel your red rose vertigo.

In the center of my restful place
There stands a stone fountain
Frozen in time, for time is eternal
Frozen in time, for time is never
I sit beneath our weeping willow
And imagine stars falling from the sky

Peaceful walk through fragrant flowers...
Where I chose to spend my hours...
Where did all my time go?
I feel your red rose vertigo.

Silent tune plays in my ears
Power of healing in a simple song
Just as this starts to fade, I smile
Just as this starts to fade, I cry
A melody I heard once long ago
Playing in the garden of my childhood

Peaceful walk through fragrant flowers...
Where I chose to spend my hours...
Where did all my time go?
I feel your red rose vertigo.

Sitting here, I pick a rose
From the bush with no thorns
Think of the past, where thorns still grow
Think of the past, where thorns still cut
A distant rumble awakens me
The storm outside aroused me from my dream

Peaceful walk through fragrant flowers...
Where I chose to spend my hours...
Where did all my time go?
I feel your red rose vertigo.
I feel your red rose vertigo.
Where did all my time go?
I feel your red rose vertigo.

I've got that deep, angry, sick feeling in my stomach again. It's a wonder I don't throw up all the chocolate milk I just drank. Well, not it's not a wonder. Throwing up wouldn't be practical at the moment, not to mention it tastes nasty, and it would lead to questions from my mother or father. They'd ask if I was sick. And I would say, "Sick? Yes, I am sick. Very sick. Perhaps, dangerously sick... sick of this same shit again. Thank you SO MUCH for asking, parent dear, cause I am really sick." Enough of that... This weekend was pretty cool. Kayla's party was Saturday, and that was exciting. We went to the Umbrella Factory. I bought a stuffed kitten. I named her Madison. She's adorable, everyone says so. Then we went swimming. I had one of those nervous, panicing moments where I thought I might run into Ryan McGovern at Catherine Venachanos's (Sorry for ROYALLY screwing up the spelling on that... to whom it may concern) graduation party, but I didn't see him, although a number of his friends were there. Then we went swimming in the pond. I was no doubt labeled insane by everyone there for my actions in the water. Who was there? Kayla (naturally), Steve, Sarah, Erik, Dan, and Dylan. I ran into shallower waters from everyone else. I think they thought I was getting out... really, I just wanted to sit down in the water and still have the opportunity to breath, whether or not I took the atomosphere up on that offer... I ended up having a fight with the water. No one really knew what I was doing. I was just sorta hitting the surface, making lots of splashes. Water's so light... it's easy to break and it melds together again instantaneously. It's great. And it makes pretty patterns. And you're more close to weightlessness. Sorry, I've been reading again. Then Sarah and I slept over. It was very fun because we did all these Tarot card readings and had a lengthy discussion about all that's been going on. You think that summer would mean reruns, wouldn't you? You'd THINK that, but no, apparently the producers aren't getting enough VIEWERS are they?? No, this summer's even more eventful than LAST summer, and the summer season then didn't even start until August. I'm just jumping to see where this'll go... I was shaking with rage, shaking with fear... with all this sickness...

I got picked up around 10 on Sunday morning. Mom brought my book with her. I opened it in the car and spent the car ride home studying the cover and reading the first sentence. Wouldn't allow myself to read anything more than that. I went online when I got home. I think it was to avoid critisim from my parents for reading Harry Potter to obsessively, then again, it could have been because I was just too nervous to read the thing. I think I was scared that reading it would mean I would have to find out what happens... which I did today. I stayed up until 4 in the morning, reading, thinking, and inevitably, eating. Nothing like a midnight piece of fruit to keep you up late at night! So, I read until I had less than 200 pages left and then went to sleep... This morning I was awoken by my mother... And then we went shopping. I bought 3 tops and 2 pairs of shorts. Then I came home and I found my Harry Potter book and finished it on the screen porch. I must have snapped at my mother and my sister at least 5 times for being loud or inturrupting me at such crucial parts in the story. As usual, with J.K. Rowling's books, everything happens in the last few chapters. I tell you, you are going to like The Order of the Pheonix, despite what you may have heard. It's really very, VERY good. EXTREMELY well-written, she's just been restored as my favorite author for only ONE SCENE in the book... that is, until I re-read Shadow Puppets. So... I think that's all I'm going to talk about. I may write a poem... I gotta call Daine now, though, so hold your horses! Ok, Daine's not there...

POETRY TIME!!

With all this oddness in the world...
Why are we still spinning around?
Want my theory?
Be prepared to be blown down...

There is a theory called love.
And it exists everywhere
There is an emotion called love...
And it exists everywhere.

Well, that sucked... I'm loosing my strength!!! *runs and cries, knowing why!*

Another logging... this one inspirational!! Yeah, I probably spelled that wrong. Heh, well, this morning Alison pursueded me to join her and all her crew at Emily's coffee shoppee (love the old English spelling, neh?)... and so I decided to, after Will and Erik went to Alex's. No, no I'm not bitter... not in the slightest. Anyway, Emily, m'dear, you are sex-ellent, to steal from people who say that! She writes all her own music, it is so great. And the coffee there is delicious, sweet enough, strong enough, rich enough. I just wish I was a critic for some magazine so I could get that place more publicity, tis so good. It was quite satisfying to be there with Matt, Andrea, Drew, Alison, Colleen, and Em... I'm really going to miss everyone next year. I don't know what I'll do!! What was the point again? Ah, yes, the whole concept of writing in general. Emily is a goddess, allow me to say, of putting lyrics to a melody. I'm really hoping she'll do that for Eons Under a Blue Moon, which just reminded me of the song in my profile, Mystic Eyes, which I'm discussing with David right now. Apparently, he likes the lyrics. It's a Japanese song, but I put the English translation into my profile because it is such a good song. I must download it sometime... So, tonight has been themed with writing songs and poetry and preforming them and the meaning of lyrics. And, as always, there comes an emotion with all of that. At the moment, I'm in my most adult form I can be without actually trying. Whenever I'm with my older friends, I'm like that. It's odd. Only sometimes am I like that with people my age. I feel I act very young aroung Alison and her friends, so I always put on my most mature mood. Not that it has any difference, because that's the mood I feel most comfortable with in the first place. Which means I want to be mature... Well, not really. I resent the whole concept of maturity, but it's all good.

So, at the moment I am building a friendship with Alex online and talking to Steve about today. And, now Erik is online so I'm talking to him. Well, there's not much more for me to update you on, unless you want me to tell you about my trip to the dental sergeon. I was hoping he would be a young, attractive oral-sergeon, but, alas, my prayers were not answered... Ok, I haven't prayed for myself in a long time. In fact, I refuse to. Even if there is a God in existance who will answer my prayers, I don't think I desearve to have them answered, especially if it's something selfish. I only pray for other people, but I do wish for myself, and in this case I wished for a sexy dentist, but it didn't come true. He's old. And he has bad teeth. Doesn't that just throw you?? That the dentist has bad teeth? Well, that's my story, for now... I really have nothing else to add, unless you want me to write a poem. I really should, considering this blog is "Poet? You know it!"

Poem: Metaphor


Trinkets from my memories,
Melting into melodies.
Lyrics from some far off place,
Coasting in from outer space...
Truth and lies and other things,
Wrap around the tune you sing.
Without tears from your eyes,
I still understand these lulabies.

The sweet child in between us,
Is all we share anymore.
The sweet child between us,
Growing, like our metaphor...

Parler, kitchen; all alone,
Silent ring on a distant phone.
I rise from my slumber there,
Come to meet you, unprepared.
Candles burning in my eyes,
Fires billow across the skies...
There is a lesson to be learned,
There is a new page to be turned...

The sweet child in between us,
Is all we share anymore.
The sweet child between us,
Growing, like our metaphor...

There was a youth we once shared
There was a childhood we sacrificed...
And our choices have led us here...

The sweet child in between us,
Is all we share anymore.
The sweet child between us,
Growing, like our metaphor...
The innocent between us...
All we share
All we share
Anymore...

Wow. Another two days of absolute "wow-ism." Monday, at least I think it was Monday, was awesome!! Erik, Dan, Kayla, Steve, and I went to Wilcox Park in Westerly! It was sooo much fun! We hung around in the park some, played frisbee, climbed some trees. That sorta stuff. Then we went across the street to Pizza Place and finished off 3 pizzas and 5 pieces of cake. On a different note, we saw Mrs Burke at Pizza Place. Twas very entertaining cause she like ignored us! After that, we all went into the library and ran around the shelves, laughing at all the funny titles. For example: Does God Have a Big Toe? How many sick things can come outta that?? And there was Samurai Cat Goes to Hell. Now THAT was ammusing. Then we went to Candy Galore and bought a bunch of candy, then returned to the park to eat it. After all of that, we went to Kayla's house. The best thing that can happen happened that day: spontanaiety. We were all wading around in the pond by Kayla's house and Steve decides to randomly go swimming. The guys went in the water with just their boxers on; Kayla and I wore all our clothes. It was Steve's idea, kudos to Steve!! Kayla's mother was like "You're SOAKING wet!" Priceless moments, pricelss moments... After the pond, we just sorta hung around Kayla's room and watched movies. I started watching a new anime series. Hellsing. It's REALLY REALLY good!! Excellent music, excellent characters. Then I went home and read till late in the morning... And then there was today! Today was awesome! People came over to my house, lots of people. Let's see... there was myself, Kayla, Meghan, Erik, Steve, Dan, and Dylan. Anyway, they all came over and we got dropped off at the beach. And then we all went swimming. Lemme tell you, the water was REALLY cold. It got better while standing in it a while, but that may have just been from my skin becoming numb. Then we got out and ate some good food and relaxed near the shore. Dylan, Erik, and I went for a short walk and we got icecream and then went back with the rest of the people and chilled out. After that, everyone else got ice cream and we all walked across the street. We had the intention of going mini-golfing, but that never happened. Instead we all went to the salt pond. Meghan, Kayla, and I went out really far into the middle of the pond looking for crabs. We found some hermit crabs and then I picked up this giant horseshoe crab... once I had put it down it CHASED me around!! I don't think it liked me very much. We played frisbee for a while, too, and returned to my house to watch stuff. Dylan went home and the rest of us hung around and watched Hellsing and The Empire Strikes Back.

So, that was Monday and Tuesday. Only after my mother told me it was Tuesday did I realize what day it is. You have no idea how good that feels, to be on summer vacation and forget what day it is, ahh, there's nothing better. And I have no idea what date it is, either. That is definatly a good feeling. I love summer!! Ok, tomorrow, I'm not really sure what's going on... I know I'm probably staying home most of the day. I've got a "dental surgeon" appointment at around 4 in the afternoon. After that, I believe I'm going to Meghan's house to sleep over... But, don't take my word for it! Hehe... I mean, plans change all the time, ya know? Then, Thursday, I'm suppose to help Meghan paint her deck or something. That's going to be so interesting!

As for myself, on a personal level, I like to think I'm doing pretty well. I mean, there are some things bothering me, but not being in school and all, they really don't have a chance to get me down. And, after all, I've been keeping busy. That's always a good thing. It's very evil that Daine, Xandra, and Sarah live so far away. I can't just be like *ring, ring* "Wanna come over?" It's sad... Saturday is going to be great; Kayla's having her birthday party, and Harry Potter (Year 5): The Order of the Phoenix is coming out. I really can't wait!! After that, I'll have exactly one more week in Rhode Island and then I'm off to Maryland. Camp is calling to me, it really is. I mean, I love you guys and all, but I need a place like CAA to go and meet new people and forget about all the problems of last year. 10th grade was great, it really was, but I think you'll all grant me the fact that there's plenty that happened that I need to get away from. And that's what camp has done for me, at least for the past 3 years... Ok, that's all I can think of... You want a poem? Here's a poem:

"I depart from my humanity."

Without that littered garbage and stink, I smile...
With those tragic sketches staring back I me, I weep...
Without your sweet warm embrace, I shiver...
With these ceaseless nightmares reaccuring, I sleep...

Wow. All I can say is "wow". The beginning of summer have been some of the best 2 days of my life... Exams are done, that's right I'M FINISHED WITH SCHOOL!! Math & French were just OK, Chemistry and History were really easy, and English was tedious, but not difficult or anything. English was my last exam, had it on Friday morning. After we all finished our stupid last tests, we hung around school doing absolutely nothing, just celebrating. And then we all went over to the movie theater to see The Italian Job. That was a pretty cool movie, I almost want the sound track for it cause the music rocked. After the movies, we went to Sarah's grandmother's house. Her grandmother is SO NICE!! And we pigged out on excellent food and watched something like 7 Disney movies and slept over there and ALL WAS GOOD!

What a great way to end school, eh? But... THE FUN DIDN'T END THERE!! Next, Kayla and I (courtesy of Kayla's mother, thanks!) went to the mall for a bit (to buy Father's day cards... and candy), then we headed over to Steve's. Him and Dylan were up at the mill preparing for one of the best parties ever! We had SO much fun... First we waited for people to come, took 'em long enough, then we all went tubbing on the river. I've never been, it was EXCELLENT! Then we all came back and pigged out and watched the South Park movie. Ok, ok, I'll admit it. It was a good movie. Now, I've never been a fan of South Park. In fact, I've had a policy to hate it, but I suppose I'll give it another shot. The movie was really funny... Anyway, then we all went for a nice, long walk in the woods heading out to some field in the middle of Chariho or somewhere. I had no frelling clue where I was, but that didn't really matter. Some of us got separated... People were back long before other people and we all thought we'd lost Andrew... but then he showed up. And so, naturally, we all organized a man hunt game. The game was OK. Eric's team lost, but Andrew's team (the team I was on) got about 3 people back to base. HAH! We rocked. And Eric and Ashley walked right by Daine and I in our hiding spot and didn't even see us. We really were in plain sight, too. Eric was singing or something. It was really ammusing, I wanted to laugh, but contained my humor for fear of being heard.

So... this weekend, so far, has been tres bien. But, to all good there is an evil, and I found out my aunt is doing even worse than before. Of course, you're all wondering when this "before" was because I've prolly never mentioned her. But she's doing worse and that's the sad thing... Umm... I dunno what I'm doing today, otherwise I'd enlighten you as to that fact...

HAPPY FATHERS DAY!!

...to all the fathers that read my blog, which probably isn't very many. Hehe!! Umm... well... one more thing:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KELTON!

It was K's birthday on Friday, just thought I'd announce that. Catch you all later, you have my love!

This'll be a quick one folks... I just thought I should update you on the latest while I still have time before exams. There's the first update: FINALS. With those 6 letters fear and sweet, sweet rejoicing both enter my mind. Fear because I may royally screw up and fail all my exams and never get into college with grades like that. And rejoicing because the term "final" means, well, FINAL!! WE'RE DONE!! ONE MORE WEEK AND WE'RE OUT OF SCHOOL!! One more week and I'm a Junior. You just can't beat that feeling, that freedom, that awesome power of being out of school on summer vacation!

Next order of business: Pat and Sarah are going out!! We'll see how long this lasts, but it's true. And highly ammusing from this point of view. Before you go around making snide comments for me to hear, allow me to tell you I DO NOT CARE. In fact, that is exactly how I've felt for about 2 week now. Simple, lazy indifference; free, boring apathy; you know the feeling. It's the same non-caring feeling I'm gettng about everything these days... But, do not fear! For, soon, I shall LEAVE FOR BALTIMORE!! Yup, that's another news flash... CAA is coming up real fast. Looks better and better everyday. Of course, you'll all miss me, but I'll be having the time of my LIFE on a boat with 12 other people my age (the majority of them guys). Have no fear, though, I shall return within 4 weeks, after camp, after my family vacation I will return to Rhode Island a NEW WOMAN! In fact, I shall be 16 years old! With that, I shall have the best frikin birthday party seen these many years. Hehehe... and you'll all get me good presents, or at least, you BETTER!

Hehe! Then it's the rest of July and August to sit back & relax... and take drivers ed! So... then I'd get my permit and drive drive drive for the 6 months afterwards. Not a bad summer, all things considered, except I left out one thing: braces. I have to get braces this summer. Me... big-smiley girl* + braces = NOT COOL AT ALL! But, whatever, I've lived worse, other people have lived worse, I'm sure I'll be fine.

As tonight is the Friday before the week of finals I shall be doing nothing whatsoever except eating and watching movies! Yup, before finals I need to relax, so it's a movie night for ME! I've updated you on my life, now call or IM me and update me on YOURS! Love you poeple dancing in the back with pig-tales and all you sexy boy-toys out there, you are my crew for life! Much love from the MUNCHKIN**!

*Note: so I smile a lot, that's all I'm saying!!
**Note: NEVER CALL ME THAT TO MY FACE OR SUFFER YOUR FATHER'S FATE YOU WILL!

(Hey, can ya tell I'm REALLY hyper?)