SURVEY BABY!!

New Year's Survey. Enjoy!!

2003:
1. go to a party?: Yeah, went to a party.
2. try something new?: Yeah! Lots of stuff!
3. have someone change your life?: Barry.
4. kiss someone?: A couple people.
5. tell your family and friends you love them?: Yup!
6. buy something extravagant?: Hmm... I think so, yeah!
7. do something nice for yourself?: At some point, I'm sure.
8. do something terribly wrong?: OH YES!
9. move?: Nope. Same house.
10. go to a concert?: Yeah!! Jingle Mingle, it was awesome!!


BEST OF THE YEAR:
1. party: Sarah's St. Patrick's Day party, Steve's end of the year party, Meg's Homecoming party, or Ben's birthday.
2. show: Pokemon?
3. cd: Sing the Sorrow
4. movie: Pirates of the Caribbean
5. song: Here Without You
6. experience: Fall in love!
7. concert: Jingle Mingle
8. book: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
9. month: October
10. day: August 4th?


HOPES FOR 2004:
1. predict something that you think will happen in 2004: We'll all survive.
2. what do you hope changes about your country?: War becomes a defense-only policy. We clean up what we've started in Afghanistan and Iraq. We help the Israeli/Palistinian conflict come to an end. Harsher punishments for parol violators. And of course... World Peace!
3. what do you hope for yourself?: I get through full IB with good grades...
4. what do you hope for your family?: Ali does well in school and my parents don't redecorate anything anymore.
5. what do you hope for your best friends?: They discover who they are...


DURING 2003:
1. where were you when it began?: With Daine sitting on the computer at my house right after Steve's party.
2. did you stay up?: Yes I certainly did.
3. what was your new year wish?: That I'd be happy.
4. how many boygirlfriends?: 2
5. broke up?: I didn't really break up with either... One I wasn't with in the first place and the other just got another girlfriend and sorta apologized. -_-
6. have any crushes?: HAHAHAHA... stupid question...
7. care to mention names?: Ryan, Dylan, other Ryan, Jon, Barry (that grew into MORE than a crush real quick), Mur, Mikey. I'm still working on that last one!
8. new friends?: Becky! Ryan, Tiffo, Jon, Barry, Mur, Liz, Dan Cottle, Alex... I think that's it. O_o
9. had to say goodbye?: Yes... Save tonight... fight the break of dawn...
10. missed anyone?: Everyone.
11. win anything?: I won a ticket to Fantasia! ^_^ (hint, hint: ask me! you don't have to paaaay!!)
12. best place you went to?: Baltimore/Virginia Beach.
13. worst place you went to?: That damn engineering school where Ethan fell in love with an older man. O_o
14. happiest moment?: First kiss with B!
15. how was your birthday?: It was alright. I got a few presents, went to the beach, went to an aqarium and saw otters! Then went out for RIBS(mmm... my favorite...)!
16. best present?: Picture of Morton Overlook.

Overlook:
*january: Midterms. Don't remind me.
*february: Meh, lotsa snow. Good vacation (I did nothing but read Harry Potter).
*march: Sucked. Fantasia was good, sorta. Then it just sucked.
*april: Lotsa school work. -_- Vacation was good, though. Saw HPatCoS 9 days in a row. O_O
*may: REALLY lazy me... Hah, that's sooooooo true. English paper. Ugh. -_-
*june: FINALS!! w00t! Parties! SUMMER!! Then camp started...
*july: Camp ended. Vacation. Birthday... SUMMER!! w00t!! MORE PARTIES!!
*august: Barry came to visit. I worked stuff out with Lexy. End of the summer!! :(
*september: School. -_- Don't remind me.
*october: AWESOME! KillBill, parties, UCONN.
*november: Parties and stuff. Homecoming? I really don't remember.
*december: Jingle Mingle. ROTK. Christmas. 'Nuff said.

If you were stranded on an island…
--who would you take? All my friends + Drew so he could hunt for us.
--who would you take if you could only bring two people? Drew, still. And Erik. We'd make a fun group! Wait, wait, wait... ORLANDO BLOOM AND JOHNNY DEPP!! How could I think OTHERWISE??
--what three things would you bring? A boat. A concession stand. And sunblock.
--what island would you want to be stranded on? the island from Lord of the Flies!!
--what animal would you kill for food? PIGS!
--would you write on the sand “help!”? No, silly, light a fire!
--would you panic or relax? Relax.

ANGER
1. Who did you last get angry with? a RAT.
2. What is your weapon of choice? Sais! ^_^ No, prolly a sword. Or MAGIC! No, wait, my boots.
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? Always do.
4. How about of the same sex? If they deserved it.
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you? Lexy, probably.
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? I let everything go.

SLOTH
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time? Floss my teeth!!
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up? This year or in general? This year... 1:30? In life? 6:30 in the afternoon. I kid you not.
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't: Becky!
4. What is the last lame excuse you made? I don't even know... Probably, "I don't want to play because I don't want to get my ass kicked." or something.
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones...)? Not this year.
6. When was the last time you got a good workout in? What?
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? Zero. On vacations I wake up naturally.

GLUTTONY
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? Mochachino baby!
2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat? Dark.
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event? Not enough to get drunk, that's for sure.
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company? Nope.
5. Do you have an issue with your weight? NOT AT ALL! HAHAHAHAHA!!
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods? Salty. Then sweet. Then salty again.
7. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought, "LUNCH?": Yes. I nearly knocked the woman pushing the carraige over the worf. Ramil is a bad influence on me...

LUST
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)? A few...
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)? A few...
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? Oooh yes. And then I go, I WISH I HAD YOUR BOOBS!! And then Xandra laughed at me.
4. Have you "done it"(real sex)? Nope.
5. What is your favourite body part on a person of your gender of choice? Hands.
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? Nope.
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy? Nope.

GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own? Zero, baby.
2. What's your guilty pleasure store? Candy store...
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? After taxes? Buy a toothpick.
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous? Famous. As an author.
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? Not at all.
6. Have you ever stolen anything? I have no idea. O_o
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive? Somewhere up in the 900/1000 rang. THEY'LL NEVER STOP ME!! AHAHAHAHA!! *look innocent*

PRIDE
1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of? Let stuff go. Decided to be happy they were happy and not selfish.
2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of? Shit if I know. Have they ever said they were proud??
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life? FINISH A NOVEL!
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? Nope.
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? Not that I'm aware of. I suppose I did kick ass in the english challenge at this year's Spirit Week!
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? Yes, I think so. Well, why would you cheat to get a LOWER score?? O_O
7. What did you do today that you're proud of? Didn't call 911.

You:
:: Last bed you were in *thats not yours*? Slept in? Prolly Lexy's or Daine's.
:: What are you doing right now? I was on the phone.
:: What are you thinking about? Everything complex.
:: Who are you talking to? I was talking to my mother. And then to the stupid recording on the other end of the phone.
:: What's your favorite letter in the alphabet? O
:: Do you have aol or aol instant messanger? AIM.
:: What's your screen name? inanutshelle
:: What's your email address? Wouldn't you like to know??
:: Do you have a crush? Yes.
:: If so, who?: Mikey. -_-
:: Why do you like him/her?: He's hott.
:: How long have you had a crush on him/her?: Anytime is too long.
:: Were yall friends before you likied him/her?: No. Actually, I thought he was a total ass. He still is an ass.
:: Do you have a gf/bf? Not... really...
:: If so, who? Oh, nevermind.
:: Do you love him/her? YES I LOVE HIM!
:: How long have you been together? We're not together... It's complicated.
:: How did you 2 meet? Camp.
:: Has a guy/girl ever been too forward with you? Oh my yes! That's so no proper... :D
:: Have you ever slapped a guy/girl? Yes.
:: How hard? Pretty hard. Ask Pat if you wanna know.
:: Last time you saw the opposite sex in their underwear? One would hope they're always in their underwear when I see them...
:: Know any scary true stories? Cannibal, anyone?
:: What? Oh, there' s this story about some cannibal in Germany that asked people if they wanted to be eaten and they volunteered for the job.
:: What language do monkeys think in? Monkeys don't think. Chiki monkey thinks only in Chris-language.
:: Do you have a nickname? Yup.
:: What is it? which one? Shelle. Or Shory. Or Homeslice.
:: How did you get it? Shelle from my sister because she couldn't said "rochelle" when we were little. Shorty for blatantly obvious reasons. Homeslice from B. Ask him.
:: Do you have an obession? Oh my yes!! Writing!
:: Three uses for an empty 2 liter bottle? Recycle, recycle, recycle. ;D
:: Last time someone complemented you? Yesterday, Sean did.
:: Ever sat on somenes lap and excited them? Oops. O:)
:: Do ne of your friends have your name? Nope. I'm the only ROCHELLE!
:: Last time u made armpit noises? That's disgusting. Never.
:: Who has the Cutest smile? Sarah.
:: Who has the Ugliest smile? Me. >.<
:: Who needs to smile more often? Everyone.
:: Weirdest nickname? I dunno. Daine? :P
:: Weirdest phone call ever? The message left on my voicemail by Dylan, Kayla, and Mur.
:: Best childhood memory? Any and all points playing wolves with Ali and Andrea.
:: Worst childhood memory? GAH!! Let's say nothing about Alton Jones. *shudder*
:: What did you order last time you went out to eat? I...don't remember.
:: First kiss.. With who/Where/Was it good? Ummm... first real kiss? Pat in school. No it wasn't good, we were both really nervous! :P
:: What school would you rather go to? JHU BABY!!
:: What pre-school did you go to? Central Baptist.
:: Who was your best friend? Erik!

Random Quizzes!!

Took some quizzes to keep myself occupied as the time when along. It's almost 11. I sure hope you're up. *grumble, grumble* Yeah, most of these actually apply. Kinda cool! ^_^ I dunno about that anime stereotype, though. Do I really come across as the cocky main guy character?? That's so... degrading. Yuck. Anyway, enjoy::


You are Sally
You are a dreamer and a hopeless
romantic. You know what you want, and you vow
to get it. You have a lot of questions, but
very few answers, but hey, all you want to do
is learn.


Which member of the Peanuts Gang are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


Which Part of a Meal Are You?Find out!



What Magical Girl Are You?



What Anime Stereotype Are You?


Which Pirates of the Carribean character are you? Find out @ RelentlessDivas.Net!


Which Disney Princess are You?Find out!


What Anime Vampire Are You?



What Anime Art Style Are You?

Your sins into me, oh, my beautiful one...

The highway's on fire...

Sometimes I hate my cell phone. It's a real bitch. Just like other things in life. Like time. And basic human instinct. And pain. On a happier note, Steve Austin's back on RAW. I'm so happy!! I was like dancing in the car on the ride home, despite how bad I felt for HBK. I'm kinda glad that Eric Bishoff actually didn't cheat to give Triple H back the title. And this'll make all the hype up to their next match(curtesy of Stone Cold) even BETTER!! I can't wait! Hmmm... I got one last Christmas gift in the mail yesterday, from Barry, and it's the most beautiful one yet! ^_^ He got me a giant, paneramic picture (framed and all) of the mountains around his home. It's so green and beautiful!! I can't wait to see them for myself! I'm gonna hang it up in my room! *smiles*

On a more morose note, I didn't have any dreams specifically in relation to last night. Although I did dream up this really beautiful love story. These two fall in love, but the guy gets really famous for some reason. I just remember the scene where his love is just standing with him and suddenly all this media surrounds him and pushes her into the background. She stands there for a few moments, turns, and walks away. It was so sad!! But then it changed into some really, really weird chase at school for Nicole's pants. Don't ask. I've been trying to find a song that matches my emotions right now, but I can't. Nothing I know lives up to the feeling, so I'll prolly just write my own words to describe it... *frowns*

Trapped

My heart's snared by a ghost.
It seems to me I've felt the pain
Forever.
I keep giving in to my ghost.
It seems to me I've always been
Forgiving.

Wake up my rain,
I can't survive all alone.
Wake up to my pain,
I'll just watch from afar.
Wake up to my sanity,
Does it destroy your own?
Wake up to profanity,
Will it leave a scar?

My heart's trapped in a web.
It seems to me I shouldn't be so
Merciful.
I've stopped fighting my web.
It seems to me I've justified your
Mistakes.

Listen to my cry,
I call to you from far away.
Listen to my reply,
I'll tell you the truth in time.
Listen to my confession,
Does it fill you with dismay?
Listen to my depression,
Is it tragic and sublime?

My heart's caught in a storm.
It seems to me I'll aways be
Silent.
I stand back and watch my storm.
It seems to me I can erase all your
Sins.

Failure is NOT an option...

Well, la-dee-da... Hmm, not doing too much. I mean, nothing you can't read about other places. Played video games till my eyes watered up and started stinging. THAT'S when you know it's time to give the games a rest... and go look at a different screen! Hah, so now I'm on the computer, obviously. Tomorrow I might be going to Daine's. I dunno, though, I didn't talk to my parents about it at all. Gah, too much going on today. I still need to by people Christmas presents even though it's already 2 days after Christmas. I'm... not... good... at least not at the buying-stuff-for-people thing.

ANDREA GOT ME A JHU SWEATSHIRT!! *hyperventalates* It's soooooo cool!! ^_^ And she got me this REALLY pretty Japanese print. Gawd, I feel like Scott now. He got The Great Wave for Christmas. We like the prints way too much. Hah, it's so pretty. And I still haven't gotten B's gift. He says it's coming, though. I gotta get him somethng... Hmm... and I gotta return the clothes that don't fit, because I'm really too small for everything any store sells. *sighs* I do wish I was bigger, even if it would take away from my Shelle-ness. I hate being so small. People squash you easily!! Right... enough with the self-critisizm. I'm soooo done.

Christmas was good. Today was good. Yesterday was alright. I actually enjoyed Steve playing Final Fantasy X, but it really confused me! I couldn't stand all those choices about magic and fighting and stuff. Pokemon's complicated enough for me!! Hah, kidding of course, but still. That game would take me a hella long time to beat, lemme tell you! I don't think I eat well. I feel really tired at odd times, so I think I should make some sort of effort to eat better and all that. Not for health reasons, just for ENERGY reasons. I need to be able to sleep when I'm supposed to sleep and be awake when I'm supposed to be awake, ya know? And now, because I haven't written anything and this IS a blog poetry-based, here's a part of a poem I wrote a while ago:

Pressure Points
Press the wounds and hear my cry
Clean the wounds so I won't die
All the points in my life,
Made by your knife,
Know their place
Across my face...

Press the wounds and hear me sob
Clean the wounds and feel them throb
All the points in my life,
Made by your knife,
Leave me torn
With so much scorn...

Yeah, hope you enjoyed. I gotta update another online journal. Oy. Three at a time is too many. (NOT LIKE THAT YOU PERVERTS!! Although... *twisted, naughty laughter*)

All the quizzes I lost like a week ago...

I finally re-took them. w00t. Here are the pretty results!

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
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Your Heart is Red


What Color is Your Heart?
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Your anime hair color is pink.


What is your anime hair color?
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<<>>???What Kind Of Angel R You???<<>>( Anime Pics )
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your fuck.


What swear word are you?
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AH! The smell of a new Xbox in the morning...

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!
My blog's not really Christmas-ish, but you get the general idea. I got some kick-ass good presents this year, including my new pride and joy: MY XBOX!! It's great! ^_^ Surprisingly, I didn't get any books from my parents, which I was actually expecting. Ah well, clothes are better anyway, 'cause I really need those... Hah, got LOTR Risk! Dylan, Erik, and I will 0\/\/Nz0r j00r @Ss3s at that game, hahaha!!

Today I'm going up to my grandfather's for an awesome few hours with like 20 of my relatives packed into his tiny, little house! It's the most ammusing part of Christmas, not to mention funny as heck!! LOTS of food *hopes for lobster*, LOTS of laughs, and usually a good sports game on or two. Hah, it'll be fun. Tomorrow, I think, I'm just hanging out with the regular crew. Watch some Hellsing (dubbed, no doubt *hisses*), play some Risk (+ the aforementioned ownage), and eat a lot of leftovers, I'll bet. And then Saturday I'm going to my dad's parent's place and having another Christmas dinner. Mmmm, that's right!

Mmm... blog own4ge... I love you guys!! I said to it, I says... "IS THAT A RACIST COMMENT!??!" Speaking, of course, of Pokemon on Gameboy. I've had my blue game for like 5/6 years. I dunno how long. I got it at Christmas, though, I know that! And... I miss my baby!! But I'll enjoy the new year, none the less.

|\/|3rRy L337 C|-|r1s7m4s!!

I'm really bitchy at the moment!!

WTF MATE??

Ok, it was an awesome day! Got up early for the orthodontist. Blargh. Then went to Steve's to film Demons of the Dark or whatever it's going to be called. Who was there? Me, Steve, Erik, Dylan, Kayla, Dan, Dan Cottle, and Alex. And Ammelia for like a second when she walked in to tell Dan his mom was coming. Fun time!! We got a lot accomplished. It's loads of fun being the leader of the resistance! Hah, I get to hate the slayer. w00t!! I'm really bitchy at the moment because my mother and I had a fight in the car for no real reason. She got pissed that I made her wait a whole 10 minutes. Oh no, please, NOT THAT!! THE WORLD'S GONNA END!! And then she got even more angry that I said "I dunno! Do I look like Kayla??" when she asked me who was driving in Kayla's car. I mean, how the heck am I supposed to know who driving?!?!? Jesus... Anyways... I'm okay, no I'm not. Grr...

Oh, then Meg was being annoyed that she didn't get invited to Steve's. Typical. It's filming. She's never filmed with us. Sorry. Jesus. I didn't know it was our job to invite you to everything. It's not like you ever have stuff we're not invited to. Christ. And even if she had come she woulda spent the whole time complaining about Alex. I hate to make that public, but I'm in a bitchy mood. Forgive me. It was bad enough having to sit between Lexy and Meg at Ben's house. Wow, I thought if I got up they might hurt themselves. They did a very nice job of ignoring the other, though. I applaud that. I think they said about a sentence tops to each other and it was on the subject of cameras or DDR or something. Gah, that's so complicated. I love them both. This officially sucks some majorly un-hott ass. *grumble, grumble* Alex, maybe stupid was too harsh of a word. I'm thinking more like "unobservant", but that's not really the case either. Let's all go with "horny" and be happy.

Hmmm... I made a LiveJournal today. I know, I feel so hethanous. Yucky!! But it was necessary in order to read peoples' posts that are Friends-Only or whatnot. So, yeah, that was exciting. I seriously need to work out some issues with myself. Or get more sleep. Sleep sounds good. Wait, no it doens't. Nightmares. OOOoohh... and I am most annoyed that I took a bunch of quizzes and put the results in some document and it got deleted somehow because my computer sucks. So I have to re-take them, but I'm being a lazy bitch right now.

Mock trial at school @ 10 tomorrow. That's gonna be interesting. I'll bet half the people don't show up. Meh, who cares? I'll just help Erik with his opening or Cory with his cross and leave me part. It'll be productive anyway, somehow. STILL BITCHY!! Only now I'm cold, too. Gah, this mood really sucks. I have such a headache, as well. Hah, let's hope I'm better tomorrow. Love!

Ricky Williams is a GOD!!

I should really give Erik five dollars........
or ten...................
No.
Yes.
NO>
YES>
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111one
Fuck.
Fornicate.

-Erik and Shelle

Through the years we all will be together...

You are red. You are impure, but noble. You are precious and true to yourself and others. When you love, you love entirely, and will do anything to make your love happy. You are sure of your identity, therefore, you cannot change others or be changed. You are a true prince, you may be forgotten, but without you, none of us could go on.

What inner color are you?

That's actually rather accurate. I would be red or purple-ish anyway. And I would be a true prince. Wait... Could I really be a prince?? And could you really not go on with out me? I'm impure, *sniffles* but NOBLE! I guess I've got honor. w00t!!

Anyway... the two items on the list from my last post are now over and done with. First of all, Jingle Mingle was amazing. Counted down the hours, left with Will driving, went to Pat's house, then to the concert. And, like I said, it was amazing. Maroon 5 played first. They were definately my favorites there. I LOVE THEM! I want the drummer. The woman from the radio station got to sit on his lap. I am indeed jealous... Ok, not really. But I still want the drummer. Then Jessica Simpson came out, then Nick LaChea (sp??), and then they did a duet. I find it ammusing that the majority of the female in the audience were lusting after him with his wife standing right next to him. Next O.A.R. came out. Despite my previous dislike for them from one of their other song, I actualyl really enjoyed their performance. Might be a new favorite for me. Then Black Eyed Peas where there. The girl in their group has pants like mine!! And, finally, BNL came out and did a KICK ASS PERFORMANCE!! I love them now, I really do. And, as I'm sure Meg has said already, Ed is hot... It's not a hair, it's another arm... Then left, helped Meghan buy a shirt, got our bags from Will's truck, and met Meghan's mother around 11:30. Then I slept at her house to be woken by her rediculously annoying alarm clock at 6:30, it's more annoying than MINE, and that's saying something. Oh, and never go to a concert with Pat or Will. They are extremely lazy, sat through every act but BNL.

So, today, went to school. Did barely anything in any of my classes, but I think I actually did alright on my econ test despite the lack of sleep and studying. With Erik, counted down the hours until Return of the King to everyones' annoyment, I'm sure. Hah, well, anyway... Drove with Steve and Erik and Ammelia (sp??) to Steve's, then Dylan's, then the theater. God, I hate the manager there. She's got this "I HATE ALL PEOPLE WHO GO TO MY CINEMA" thing going on. She's not a people-person. Anyway, we finally got in there and waited through the stupid news stuff, then the previews... and then it started. And, yes, I'll admit it, I did love it... I say nothing. Nothing else, but go see it. Just go see it, damn it, whenever possible. Please. w00t. I love Legolas. Whoa, who said that??

And Ali came home today. So, it's all good! And I did my homework now, so it's even better. Parties in classes for the rest of the week, I'm not complaining. Jack's on Saturday, Ben's on Sunday... Then Monday maybe filming (depends on weather), mock trial practice Tuesday, Christmas Eve with the family, Christmas DAY with presents and other family... and then vacation resumes for a week and a half of freedom (Dylan's party!), aside from other mock trial practices and homework and studying early for midterms. On top of all that, I'm planning on reading all of Lord of the Rings over vacation, too.

It always rains when I leave the movie theater. Or snows. Emotions and weather. *sigh*

Wilting roses stuffed in lockers is sad...

You represent... hope.
You're quite a daydreamer and can be a hopeless
romantic. You enjoy being creative and don't
mind being alone at times. You have goals, and
know what you want in life... even if they are
a little far fetched.


What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yeah, that's me in a nut shell. Althought right now I'm pretty happy because Shannon Moore won his match against Big Show. That's a good thing! Shannon Moore is SO CUTE!! And he's got the coolest pants! I watched Pirates of the Carribean 5 days in a row since Saturday. Tonight was the first time I didn't watch it, I watched part of Smackdown. I also had some good conversations with Meghan, Dylan, and Scott tonight. It was refreshing. *sigh*

There is so much to talk about. I don't know where to begin. Half of me is happy with the way things are going and the other half of me wants to scream in utter defeat. A lot about this week has really tried my patience in terms of my attempt to see where everyone is coming from. I'm only upset with one person, actually, amazingly. I've gotten all these bad vibes about people and I keep hearing so many sides to one story it's amazing. It's a lot easier to understand everyone's point of view now, though. And for that I am greatful. Of course, some people's feelings I'm only half-getting from LiveJournal or through others' remarks on the subject, but that's fine. The point is, I feel bad that I'm almost thriving in the chaos, I really do. I've been trying to be so supportive though. And I haven't even gotten the urge to rebuke someone, everything I've been saying I've been saying with complete composure (or so I hope.) If you think I'm outta line, just say so. I've been being tolerant, though, cause I'm sick of fighting. It's so... *sigh* ...complicated.

Here's a list of things coming up, things I dread, things I don't:
Jingle Mingle
Return of the King
Vacation
Jack's Birthday
Christmas
New Years
Dylan's Birthday
Trip??
Mock trial practice
Trial
IB religion paper
IB math project
Royal Rumble
Mid-terms
February vacation
Boston MUN
SATs?
Sarah's Birthday
SK MUN
Steve's Birthday
Wrestle Mania
License
Ali's Birthday
Pat's Birthday
Easter
IB religion oral presentation
IB english paper
College search
SATs?
Spring vacation
Daine's birthday
Prizoner of Azkaban
IB religion exam
IB math exam
Finals
Summer vacation

Add two more trials to that, a SHITLOAD of meetings, homework, tests, and quizzes, all the emotional stress of a normal adolecent, all the emotional stress of an abnormal adolecent and I can officially say that my life for the next few months will be confusing as Hell. And that's why I love it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BARRY!
^_^ Finally 16!

Anime character moment::

Me, with fire burning in my eyes, my right fist clentched, turned around to watch you walk away in your triumph. The background in black, thunder and lightening strikes around me and the storm of my anime-girl fury bombards you...

Be An Anime Character by mangacatgirl
Character Name
Eyes	Purple
Hair	Long Blue Wispy Hair
Fashion Style	Ninja Gear
Attitude	Blood Thirsty
Role	Magical Girl/Magical Boy
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Be An Anime Character by mangacatgirl
Character Name
Eyes	Blue
Hair	Long Blonde Wispy Hair
Fashion Style	Black... Always Black
Attitude	Genki
Role	Slave
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Hah!! Lots of stuff went on today!! OMG!! I thought everyone would die of the tension. But, it's working itself out... slowly... *sigh* Best of luck to you all and you know who you are and why you need luck, right everyone?? I love you...

And, some time later...

You look across the grounds. Trees are dropping their brightly colored leaves, the sky is bright blue and full of white puffy clouds. The camera shot rises up, looking into one of those clouds, and comes down again. The scene has changed. The world is now white and dead, the leaves are gone, and the ground is hidden from view by a foot of snow. The sky is overcast, with weak breaks of sunlight trying to get through to the frozen world below. Amazing how time passes, isn't it?

I haven't written since November. How weird. I tried, believe me, but I couldn't bring myself to put anything in writing. It's not that there isn't anything to talk about. There's load infact, especially in the mood I'm in. The bitter, lonely, cynical, In-Love-With-Silence, poetry-writing mood I've slipped into since everyone else left Dylan's and it was just him and I. That was boring. All I could think of to talk about was something I'd been fuming over, subconsciously, all weekend. Something Meghan told me at Applebees on Friday evening that just plain HURT. Nobody trusts me, it seems.

It was a bad week. I was out from the 21st of November till the 30th. 9 days and I left the house a total of 5 times, most of those brief. I had time to do stuff, time to mull over things. Weird. Got back to school last Monday and it was December. Amazing. Lots of stuff going on this weekend, including a revisited emotion I thought was going away. I had a lot of make-up work, my math project was due and I had a big biology test Friday. The test went alright. And I got my project pushed back till tomorrow, not that it really helped. So I spent all last week staying up very late on the phone and thinking about that. Friday was a bright point, for a moment or two. After school, we drove over to see The Last Samurai. It was amazing, really it was. Amazing. Then when we left the movie, to our surprise, there was already nearly 4 inches of white coating the ground. My mother was there. Weird. So we all went to Applebees to eat dinner. It was fun, as barely anyone was in there on a Friday night. Then we drove home in the snow storm. I read that night. A lot.

Saturday, I woke to a cold, white world. And, in reality, I drank a lot of hot chocolate and read most of the day. Did a bunch of homework and watched two movies: Edward Scissorhands and Pirates of the Caribbean. I would have rented more Johnny Depp movies, but I couldn't get out of the driveway. Ashame. That went alright anyway. Got on the phone afterwards, then got off, then got back on like an hour later only to be regected and got off the phone again. I could have called him back, but I stuck to the text messages, just to be cold. Being cold was what I wanted to do. Cold is better than angry and jealous. A lot better. I'm making myself sick to my stomach thinking about this. *turns into Han Solo* I dunno how we're gonna get outta this one...

*sigh* Today was fun. Got snowed in from Church. Hooray. Then finished my math project. More hooray. Then drove to Dylan's. Hooray!! We (myself, Meg, Kay, Jess, Dylan, Steve, Erik, and Dan Cottle along with Dan Knight and some kid named Sean) all went sledding on the golf course. A lot of cold, white, wet, breathless fun. Then we walked back, made ourselves warm as could be, and settled in to watch Pirates of the Caribbean, again! Yes, the commadore is hott, and YES I love William Turner better than I love Caption Jack Sparrow. Weird, eh? Everyone goes on about Jack, but I just want William Turner.

Then people left, slowly. And I was left for last, which put me in that sad-sort-of mood where I just want to crawl into darkness and dwell on the emotional strain put on me by this last week. Two highlighted spots are there... BS, that's right. BS. Weird. Now I'm back to where I started: Cold, lonely (horny), and jealous. I just can't SAY that to anyone cause I'm sick of trying to talk. I'm so bad at it after trying to push people away. Now I can't open up to anyone without sounding really off-hand and stupid, or so I think. Lemme go live in one of my fantasies... please...

So much is coming up soon. Jingle Mingle on the 16th, the first REAL thing I'll have done with Pat in so long, not to mention Maroon 5 will be there!! Then Return of the King on the 17th, a movie that promises to be more emotionally taxing than the ones I saw this weekend were. Then vacation... Christmas and New Years, too... PoA in 180 days, that I'll be waiting for forever, but it's worth it. It really is. I've watched that trailer more than I ever watched even the STAR WARS trailers, and that's saying something.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. So sorry. Does five times cut it? Cause I can say it FIVE MILLION IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES. I don't even know what I'm apologizing about. I hate change. And the world is always changing. I hate inbalance, and I fear the weights are pulling me to only one side. The snow is pretty, especially at night with no lights on. The clouds reflect the lights from the airport onto the snow which reflects back, so both the sky and the ground are the same sad, watery wine color and everything else in the world is a dull black shape of no real purpose.

Loneliness
the snow
and the sky
and the watered down wine
are all mine
and so is my loneliness

the shapes
and the sounds
and the silent, cold pines
are all mine
and so is my loneliness